


I'm Yours

by TheGoblinJester



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, M/M, Songfic, fake name, ooc, radio dj
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 03:17:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1883088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoblinJester/pseuds/TheGoblinJester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>66.7 - KTITAN. Home of Yeager's heavy metal station and Stable, "Max Bushwald"'s romantic advice hour. Max Bushwald is actually a guy named Jean who has the hots for a guy named Marco, who calls in one revealing day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Yours

**Author's Note:**

> So I came up with this and wrote it with a friend, and literally everything was at her request.

“What's up, listeners? It's time again for Stable, the refreshingly non-cheesy call-in romantic advice hour here on KTITAN. I'm your host, Max Bushwald, here to graciously provide you loyal followers with your daily fix of sugar. Tonight, we're gonna do something a little different.

Many of y'all are nosy as heck and have been calling in asking about _my_ love life, you invasive pricks. I kid, I kid. You keep me young, guys, and I like talking about myself.

Now, as hard as it may be to believe, I am single. Please, contain your shock and refrain from throwing panties at me. Oh crap, the censor's giving me a warning look. I should move on.

Ahem.

As I was saying, I'm swinging free and easy. That doesn't mean I haven't been interested in anyone, of course. Back in sixth grade, I was head-over-heels for a gorgeous Asian girl who was as smart as she was terrifying. I still get goosebumps remembering that time she beat me up for picking on her brother. Wait, not goosebumps. More like a commemorative aching in my kidney.

But that was then, not now.

At the moment? Well, I have my eyes set on someone a little different... brunet again, of course. I have a thing for dark hair. And apparently dicks. Oh hi, censor! I was talking about people named Dick. Totally.

Anyway -god, even anonymously, it's still hella embarrassing to talk about this- the dude I have a thing for is just really cool, alright? He's easy to talk to and has a nice smile. It's as simple as that! He's super optimistic to a point where it would be annoying on anyone else, but it works on him. He's a wonderful friend that anyone would be incredibly lucky to have, and censor please stop looking at me like that I am not a puppy in love.

And yeah, I guess I'll dedicate a song. Let's see... here we go.”

_**(Listeners, please take this moment to think of/pull up the song I'm Yours by Jason Mraz.)** _

There we go. Now let's maneuver out of that puddle of cheese and gay to something else. Let's take a caller, yeah? Yo! Max Bushwald here! What's up?”

“ _Hey fuckface, thought I'd gloat about my extremely fuckable boyfriend.”_

“Dude, you're upsetting the censor.”

“ _Yeah, I know.”_

“He just got up, though. Coffee break? He's muttering something about 'heavy metal DJs and their sailor mouths'.”

“ _It's cool, man. He's into it.”_

“ _Oh my god, EREN!”_

“ _Hi, babe!”_

“Eren, you're fucking the censor?”

“ _NO!”_

“ _Yes.”_

“ _Maybe.”_

“ _Definitely maybe.”_

“Wow. I'm never looking at you two the same way again. You wanna dedicate a song or what?”

“ _Sure, just a mo-”_

“ _Eren, your death will be slow and horrible.”_

“ _Blowjobs later, babe. I promise.”_

“ _EREN!”_

“I really don't want to hear this. Just dedicate a song, dude. And none of your heavy metal crap, please.”

“ _Fucking alright already, I want you to play number 28.”_

“Wow, OK. Censor, buddy, you can have an extended coffee break as long as you promise not to share the graphic details.”

“ _You're both dead to me.”_

“ _Play the song, you assfuck.”_

_**(Listeners, ditto previous instruction but with the song A Thousand Years by Christina Perri.)** _

“I think the censor's gonna need a day off. Looks like those guys didn't need my advice at all. Maybe caller number two will prove less disturbing?”

“ _Good afternoon, Max.”_

“Yo! How's it hanging, man?”

“ _Slightly to the right.”_

“... OK. You got someone you need advice about? A song dedication?”

“ _I'd like to dedicate a song to my fiance. What he lacks in height, he makes up for in... passion. In the bed, I mean.”_

“Yeah, I got that.”

“ _He is quite the individual. And rather anal about cleaning. I've offered so many times to do the dishes, but apparently I can't get it right. I do get other things right, however. Proposing to him was one of those things, contrary to what he tells me about the ring band being too big.”_

“Ring for his finger, right?”

“ _Yes. Otherwise it would be far too small.”_

“I see. You're a lucky man.”

“ _I am indeed. It might help that he has a thing for those strong of brow.”_

“Wait, shit, _Erwin?_ ”

“ _That is my name, yes.”_

“Oh my god. That is- wow. Um, what song would you like to dedicate to him?”

“ _S &M, by Rihanna.”_

“Er, alright.”

**_(Listeners, you know what to do.)_ **

“That was an experience. I've learned many new things today. Let's take caller number three and hope this will be the lesser of three evils, hm? How are things, number three?”

“ _Hi! Uh, things are good. Things usually are!”_

“... what's your name?”

“ _Hm? Oh, it's Marco!”_

“... cool. Anyway, Marco, got someone special?”

“ _Oh I do! Well, I haven't 'got' him, necessarily. Not yet. And that's why I'm calling! You always give amazing advice and I really could use some right now.”_

“And... what's this guy like?”

“ _He's a stubborn idiot. But also a really amazing person! I see great leadership potential in him, as well as myself in him, if you catch my drift, ha ha... he's hotheaded to an impressive degree, and smarter than he gives himself credit for.”_

“Hah, sounds like quite a guy... what's his name?”

“ _Oh, um, well on the off-chance that he listens to this, I don't really want to say...”_

“Come on, I'm sure he doesn't listen to a corny show like this.”

“ _You sure? He definitely has a poorly-concealed soft side...”_

“Positive. You can tell me.”

“ _OK. It's Jean. French, of course, and pretentious as all get-out. Have you ever read The Fault In Our Stars?”_

“No.” he lied.

“ _I cried like a baby, admittedly, but he cried harder. He reminds me of a character from it, though... but in a more angry way, I guess?”_

“And you want to figure out how to tell him how you feel?”

“ _Yes, please. If you don't mind helping me.”_

“It's why I'm here. Now here's what you got to do. You're going to take out your phone and text this guy. You're gonna tell him to turn on the radio to KTITAN and you'll let me know when he responds.”

“ _Um, OK? Just a moment...”_

 

**New message from Freckled Jesus**

 

**Hey Jean! Turn on your radio to 66.7 please!**

 

Ok but I am doing this with my most suspicious of horse faces. If its a rickroll im killing you.

 

**Awesome! :)**

 

“So hey, Jean, wherever you are out there, this is to you from Marco. You treat him well, man. He's a great guy.”

“ _Aw, thanks!”_

“No problemo, freckles. You have a song in mind, or...?”

“ _You can pick.”_

“Awesome.”

_**(Listeners, do the thing but this time with Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up.)** _

 

Very soon after, the gang found themselves at a wedding reception. Erwin and Levi's, to be exact. Jean had, of course, commandeered the DJ booth and played S&M. Levi smacked him.

“One more song.” Jean begged.

“If you screw this one up, the tin cans clattering behind our car as we drive off will be filled with your assorted organs.”

“Got it.” said Jean.

Marco, who was hovering near the alcohol and feeling conflicted, seemed to convince himself to do something stupid. With the all the confidence and grace of a drunken deer, he made his way over to the DJ booth. Jean grinned as casually as he could manage.

“Wanna dance?” Marco asked.

“Just a second, I've gotta set up the next song.” Jean told him. He fucked around with the computer and then got to his feet, offering his hand to Marco. “Shall we?”

Marco smiled and took his hand, pulling him onto the dance floor with all the eagerness of a small turtle eating raspberries. Awkwardly, the managed to find a dancing position that worked for both of them, downstage hands on the others shoulder and upstage hands clutched.

_**(Listeners, think of/pull up I'm Yours again. Thank you.)** _

Marco looked up so violently that Jean felt concerned for his freckles.

“I fucking knew it.” he whispered.

Jean smirked.

“Well are we dancing or are we dancing? Come on!”

Marco laughed, a mixture of surprise, relief and exasperation. He pulled Jean forward suddenly and dipped him, earning a yelp and a dirty look.

“So,” said Marco, spinning Jean, “Max Bushwald. Like, Max from Tangled and Bushwald your dream horse and short-lived pony OC?”

“Cool name, right?”

“It's literally the dorkiest thing I've ever heard, you absolute nerd.” Marco said, laughing as his trepidation crawled away like an injured frog. “And old internet memes? Really?”

They laughed together.

Erwin and Levi evidently still weren't done with their altar kiss. Eren and Armin were being adorable and questionable with cake. Reiner, who had caught the bouquet, was trying to convince Bertholdt, who had caught the garter, to dance. Ymir and Christa had disappeared into the ladies room a while ago. Connie and Sasha were raiding the open buffet.

Marco and Jean?

Sloppy makeouts.

The end.


End file.
